THW, Chapter 1: Lien On Your Dreams

But it’s the same every day
It drives the world insane
And the lies of mankind
Burn you up inside
But it hurts and what’s worse
There’s no way to reverse
When your mind wants to start
Pulling you apart, baby
(…)
‘Cause I needed more, and I need it more
Will you satisfy
I needed more, and I needed more
But this is more than I ever wanted to believe in

You’re all I came here for
You are my lonely soul
You’re all I came here for
You are my lonely soul

--- Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, “Lie On Your Dreams”

BPOV

The sound of my feet hitting the mossy ground of the forest echoes around me as I frantically run through the woods. I’m breathing hard as I kick my legs, my muscles burning with the effort.

Don’t stop, never stop.

I don't risk looking back afraid of what I might find. Is it close? I don't know, but I can't stop running. 




My foot gets stuck on a rock and I trip. I brace myself for the inevitable fall but instead feel the softness of a body catching me up in its embrace. The arms holding me tighten their embrace and I’m secured into a strong chest. 

I rest my face into it and inhale... Sandalwood. I know this smell, it's him. I lift up my chin but I can only see shadows. I'm never able to see his face; it's always hidden from me. 

Sighing I relinquish on his touch and smell. “You caught me.” I whisper into his chest.

“I’ll always catch you.” His velvet voice washes through me and I give in because he feels like home.
 


The moment is suddenly broken as a woman's scream ripple through the woods and in a heartbeat, the body beneath me evaporates and leaves me standing alone by a cliff over the sea. I look around frantically and that's when I see her. 

She's dressed with in the same old wedding dress. I step closer to see her face. My face. 


I stand still, watching the waves crashing ruthlessly against the rocks below. Her pain wretched face, streaked with silent rivers of tears, haunts me. 







I've been through this before and I know how it ends, so I start panicking.


"Please, please..." 


My pleas are ignored and when I reach for her my hands go through her flesh like a ghost. "Please, stop... please!"

She turns her head and looks me in the eye, whispering something imperceptible before opening her arms wide and throwing herself into the the hollow while I watch the body crash into the mist.




- -





Brrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinng!

The irritating sound of the alarm clock blares in my ears as I wake up gasping for air. 


Blindly, I throw a hand out on the nightstand and snooze it, while taking deep breaths to steady my erratic breathing. 


It was just a dream. 


I take a glance at the clock's display. 


6:30 am, September 23^rd.

 
With a lazy twist of my hand and a small whispered command, the curtains close just enough for the light not to hit me directly in the eyes and I let myself fall back into the pillow, my eyes staring at the white high ceilings of my bedroom. 

  
I wish I knew a spell to erase that date from the calendar and stop this day from happening. 


Maybe there is.


Supposedly in every kid’s life there's a pivotal moment when they realize that Santa Claus doesn’t exist and that magical godmothers belong only in Disney. It unquestionably happens to every single kid. Except to me, Bella Swan. 


You see, I was twelve when I found out I was a witch. It was on a boring afternoon that I stumbled on my auntie Esmé magically fixing my broken glasses with her bare fingers while chanting away a few words in Latin. It had mesmerized me how the pieces had put themselves back together compelled by her touch. When she’d seen me standing there looking at her like a fish out of the water, she’d sighed and cursed before sitting me down to tell me the truth about our family - specifically, the truth about the women from my mother’s side of the family. 


That night, when I’d gotten to bed, I’d conjured a million ways in which I could try to find a magical way to bring my mom back… Not back from dead, no, she isn’t dead; at least I think so. 


She just left us, without warning – and I honestly don’t know why because we were happy. Well, at least until the night of my parents’ 10 years of marriage… We had been in a fancy restaurant in Port Angeles with Esmé, my mom’s sister, and her daughter Alice along and with our cousin Rosalie and her boyfriend Emmett; all was good until the moment a guy came out of nowhere and shot my dad. 


Fortunately Emmett’s reflexes and his military school training came in handy and he managed to push my father into the floor just in time. We never knew who the guy was and what reasons he had to try to kill a small town lawyer like my dad. What I know is that from then on my mom was different… distant. 

A week later she was gone and we found a small letter on the kitchen table.


"Charlie, I gave up all my dreams for you. I’m going to live the life I really want, away from Forks and away from you.
Forget me, I'm not coming back.
Renée".

 
That was seven god damned years ago. 



Knowing that I need to be getting ready for school, I leave the bed and knocking on my sister’s bedroom door on my way to the bathroom. 


“Wakey Wake Nessie, time to get up!” I yell loud enough for her to hear me before I close the door behind me. 


A few minutes later I hear her coming into the bathroom. “Good morning to you too, sister dearest.” 

 
I peek through the shower curtain.


“You should be thanking me that I woke your lazy ass, today’s Monday remember?”


She groans in reply and I finish rinsing out my hair, giving her room in the shower so that she steps in after me. 


“By the way, I’m going to stay in town after school so maybe you could ask Jacob to give you a ride back home?” 


 Her groaning resurfaces. “I can’t believe you’re asking me to go to the dog to ask him for a favour!” 


“Don’t be a brat, Nessie. Esmé has a school meeting in the afternoon and Jacob has to drive here anyway on his way to the Res so I’m sure he won’t mind at all”, I try to reason with her. 


“Yeah, a friend who just happens to turn into a dirty dog from time to time. Oh, and let us not forget his charming personality!” 


I look sternly at her. 


“Nessie, are you a freak because you’re a witch? Take the bitchiness down a notch; he didn’t exactly chose to be a shape-shifter.” 


My words seem to hit home and she looks down in embarrassment. 


“I know… but Bella, he is just so annoying!” She huffs before returning to the shower. 


Nessie is a very sweet girl and rarely throws tantrums… except when it comes Jake, that is. He’s a member of the the Quileute Reservation tribe down in La Push and his dad is a childhood friend of Charlie. We never spent that much time together when we were kids but in the last year we’ve grown close... kind of. 


He goes to FHS to avoid the “gang” from the Res – all in all Jake wants to try to have the most normal life he could.


Yeah, good luck with that!


Charlie’s completely oblivious of all the supernatural things surrounding him, of course, and we are extremely careful not to get caught – well, except for that one time when Esmé had made broccoli for dinner and Nessie, hating the damn vegetable, had turned them into french fries as soon as he’d turned his back to go into the fridge to get a beer. Esmé had a hard time explaining Charlie that she had to throw the broccoli into the bin because they were ruined. 


While I quickly pick my clothes for the day, I can’t help but recognize in Nessie some of Rennée’s giddiness. 


Yeah, but my sister would never run away as the bitch did.

 
I struggle to keep my emotions in check when it comes to my Mom but it’s freaking hard. Sure, at the beginning I would daydream about her coming back and everything being like it had been before; but as I grew up, I became angry... For leaving my dad, for hurting my sister and for not being there when I needed her.


The sound of shattering glass snaps me back to reality and I see that my anger just victimized a light bulb.


Fucking peachy.


I put on my tight stone-washed jeans and a black t-shirt, knotting it at the front, with some of my silver and leather bangles. A nod and a few chanted words later my bed is made and the floor cleared of the broken glass. 


A look into the mirror is enough to notice the nasty looking bags under my eyes have to go. With a defeated sigh I pick up the concealer, deciding that rather sooner than later I'll have to talk to Esmé about the awful dreams.


“Can I wear your owl necklace?” 


Nessie asks from my bedroom door, already dressed up in a red skirt with polka dots and white t-shirt. She has always been more girly than me and I fully blame it on Alice.


“Yeah. Go ask the Fashionista downstairs, she has it since last week.”  


“Ok, thanks!” 


Just a few minutes later I'm good to go, with my brown strands settled into their usual waves down my back and my eyes refreshed.


Way better, at least I don’t look like a zombie anymore.

 
I grab my faithful brown leather jacket and head down the three flights of stairs into the kitchen. 


“Morning”, I mumble to everyone.

 
“Good morning sweetie. Your toast and coffee is ready” 


Esmé says as she points to the table. 


“Morning Bella”. My Dad’s attempt at a smile is pathetic, and I roll my eyes as I sit down and start downing breakfast.


“Bella, Nessie told me you’re coming home later today… can I get a ride back with you? I have some stuff to do.” Alice asks in her all innocent voice and I chuckle. 


“No problem Ali. Meet me at 7 in the student’s hall; I promised Angela to help out with the whole art exhibition thing.” I reply through the chewing, not even bothering to keep the smirk away.


I knew exactly what her stuff was - fooling around with Tyler Crawford. 


She just smirks back. “Yep, perfect.”


“Is that stuff anything I should know about, Mary Alice?”


Esmé asked while absently getting ready to leave. 


She never misses a thing. 


 “Not at all, Mom. I’m just going to do some shopping with Kate.” Alice lied through her teeth. 



Esmé hums unconvinced, squirting her eyes at Alice. 


“Behave, all of you. I’m heading out now, girls. See you later.” 


We all wave back at her.


“Bells, I’ve got a… business meeting in humm… Port Angeles tonight. So… don’t wait up for dinner, ok?” 


Charlie somberly grabs his jacket and it breaks my heart to see him like this. 


Nessie replies for me. “Yeah dad, no problem. We will probably just order some pizza.” 

 
He briefly nods and drops a kiss to our foreheads before leaving the house.



Alice clears her throat after a few minutes and with a swift move of her left index finger gathers up the plates in the sink. 


“You know he doesn’t really have a business meeting don’t you? I checked his agenda and he has absolutely nothing for the day.” 


“It’s the same every year. He’s going into that fucking Italian restaurant in Port Angeles where he proposed to the bitch and drink himself to oblivion!” 


“Bella, don't." Alice looks sternly at me."You know how bad feelings attract foul energies and mess with our powers… If you don’t watch your back you’ll end up hurting someone, or yourself.” She looks pointedly at my sister and I see Nessie bitting her nails, looking down at the table in front of them, obviously bothered by my outburst.


I close my eyes and silently curse myself for making it worse for her. 


Nessie doesn’t see Renée the same way I do, she has no resentment; she just misses her Mom. 


I nod in understandment at Alice, who goes to Nessie and bumps her shoulder with her hip. 


“Come on brat, let’s get going. Don’t you have acrobatic gymnastics today?” 


That seems to bring Nessie back from her thoughts. 


“Yeah... it’s going to be auditions day.” Nessie gives us a small smile.


She’s a born gymnast and I know she’s excited about restarting the practices.


“Hurry up bitches; I’ve got a whole new set of bums and triceps to judge!” Alice exclaims in excitement as we head outside and walk into the black Mini Cooper. 


Dad had given it to me last year when I got my driving license and right now it was our only mean of transportation since Esmé had grounded Alice and taken her flashy Mercedes away. 


“New flesh?” 


Nessie replies from the back seat. “Oh yeah, the doctor’s kids.”


“Ok, update me.” I start the car and go into the road while Alice is all too excited about breaking in the news.


“So it seems that there’s some fancy widowed doctor from Seattle that has just moved into Forks with his kids, like three days ago! Apparently he got transferred into Forks Hospital and the rumour has it that he’s hot stuff! I just hope it runs in the genes cause his kids are fake twins and Seniors.” 


Something catches my eye by the side of the road as I drive. 


“Hold the thought there, Alice. Is someone living in the O’Connell’s house?” 


I interrupt her as I peek through the review mirror and see two cars leaving the luxurious contemporary house. 


“OMG, must be them!” She screeches as if she just figured out the cure for cancer. 


“Well they must have some pretty good bucks because that house is worth a friggin’ fortune. And are those fucking BMWs?” I ask to myself out loud, astonished. 


Alice whistles and Nessie let out a snort at our exchange. 


“You are both too weird! I mean, seriously? You see cars and boys and become two drooling lunatics.”


I snort at my sister but she’s right. 


Even though I can hardly be labeled as a tomboy, I unquestionably love cars. 

 
Alice rolls her eyes. 


“Nessie, you will soon understand my obsession with the male specimen; you’re beginning your junior year and believe me in a few months you’ll grasp the delights to be had on a fine masculine body…” Alice teases her.


Nessie looks at me through the review mirror seeking help but I just shrug. “Don’t look at me, sis. I agree that there are some hot guys out there and all but as you know, I’m kind of a loner; can’t really help you out in that department.” 


Alice shakes her head in amusement. “Your problem, Bella, is that you don’t even give them a chance! Peter, the hottest guy at FSH made a move on you and a week later you dumped his ass because you have, and I quote, no patience for romantic bullshit!”


I cringe at her words because they are true. 


Peter is not only hot but also a nice and caring guy. And I was obviously excited when he asked me out but after a week of making out and stuff, I’d come home one the nights to find Charlie crying while holding the only picture of Renée that we have on display at the house… and I knew then that I had to break up with Peter. 


I would rather stay alone all my life than risk ending up like Charlie. Love is too codependent. 

 
Thankfully, Nessie changes the subject. “Well, Alice, tell us more these new guys.” 


Alice gladly complies and starts spilling out all the beans that she had learnt from Tyler’s mother, who is a nurse at Forks Hospital. 


While she babbles away, though, one of the BMWs outruns us at an incredibly high speed. The other follows close behind but slows down on the lane next to our car.


I take a quick look at the car and I’m greeted by a mass of bronze hair smirking back at me. 


I don’t know why, but his cockiness really annoys me, so I furiously step on the gas and we get way ahead in the road.


“Bella! Are you crazy?! Your dad is going to kill us if he finds out you’re speeding like a mad woman!” 


Alice squeals beside me, bracing herself on the seat.


I ignore her and stay focused on the BMW behind me, which quickly had to go back into the right lane because of a car that was coming. Feeling good about beating the all-mighty BMW, I try to calm her down. 


“No worries, Ali. I was just teaching the guy some respect.” 


But as soon as the words leave my mouth, the silver BMW outruns us in a flash, his hand outside the window in a “thank you” gesture. 


“Arrghhh! MOTHERFUCKER!” I bark out and angrily shove my arm out the window to show him the finger. 


Alice is stunned beside me and as I see the BMW rear disappearing in the distance, my body begins to relax.


“Making friends with the new guys already?” Nessie breaks the silence.


I humph in annoyance. “Yeah, they seem perfect dickheads.” 

 
“I don’t usually agree with you but speeding when there’s still plenty of time to get to school seems way overconfident.” 


I’m actually surprised Alice approves of my customary anti-social ways. 


The rest of the drive to school is as usual. Alice changes the topic into Tyler and the newest gossip surrounding the school grand bitch and master slut, Lauren Mallory. 


When we get to the school parking lot I immediately spot the BMWs and I’m almost tempted to bitch a bit more about the assholes but decide against it - I don’t even know them and they already messed up with my mood, which was not good. 


Stepping out of the car I see that Nessie has already left it and is now quickly walking towards her friends.  


"I'm going to go ahead quickly, ok? I want to saunter my exceptionally good genes on Tyler’s face and make him drool for later…" Alice says between her devilish grin. 


Her high heels make her an inch taller than me and I have to say that the green and blue dress she’s wearing really agrees with her sparkling blue eyes. Alice is beautiful in a kind of Audrey Hepburn way, but just she’s also just as sneaky as a bookie outside the stadium during a big game night.


"You have Tyler wrapped around your pretty little finger, haven't you?" 


"But of course! Do you honestly think that I, the daughter of the magnificent Esmé Higginbotham, would ever tolerate being played by a man? No, honey, you know how I work…" 


When I speak  my voice is serious. "Alice, be careful. Tyler is a nice guy; don't toy with his feelings." 


She looks me in the eye and I swear I see a shadow of remorse crossing her irises; but it's quickly gone. 


"Bella, relax. It’s not like I’m sleeping with him or anything. You know as well as I do that I’m doing nothing wrong, just having fun. These jocks need to be reminded they’re not kings of the world and that real women don’t give out like Mallory." She says in a deceivingly sweet voice. 


I worry about Alice but I have to admit she has a point. "Well, as long as you don't turn into a fucking praying mantis, all is fine by me." I say dismissively.


Alice laughs, “Don’t be silly… You know we can't use our powers in public," and she starts to walk away but not before speaking over her shoulder.

"But then again, I wouldn't call the locker room a public space!" 


I shake my head at her and and head inside. 



The corridors are busy with juniors trying to get their grips on the school grounds but I still have no problems in making my way to the locker. 


The population of Forks may not the brightest but they seem to know there’s something different about my family. They don't fear us or anything but they’re cautious around us. For some time our family was the talk of the town when my Auntie moved in from Tacoma to live with us in the aftermath of Renée’s Great Disappearing Act; many people thought Esmé was having an affair with Charlie.


I snort at the thought.  


Stupid people.



Esmé and Charlie are family and even though she did help out Charlie in raising us, there was no story there. 


Actually, after a few months of her moving in, Rosalie and Emmett had also moved into Forks. They live in town and own the only garage in Forks. 


Suddenly remembering the last time I’d seen Rosalie and how she had felt weird, I make a mental note to drop by tomorrow.

* ~ *

The English class had already started when Alice came in, smiling apologetically at the professor and quietly taking her seat. 


I look at her and I know there’s something wrong but I wait until the class is over to walk up to her desk. 


“What’s up Tinkerbelle?”

Alice angrily grabs her books and stands up.


 “Nothing, really. It’s just this guy that thinks he’s god’s gift to women or something." She mumbles while walking out the classroom and I follow behind trying to keep up with her quick pace.


 “Well he’s a jock, but that’s nothing new.“

“He is the most annoying person I’ve ever met! With his perfect clothes and fashion sense and-“

“Alice, just a few days ago you were bitching about him being too sporty for your taste.” I try to speak through her ranting, but she doesn’t even register my words.

 

“-Those infuriating blue eyes and silky hair!”


Now she lost me - Tyler has shaved hair and black eyes.

“Are we talking about Tyler?” 
 

“Tyler?! No, I’m not talking about freaking Tyler!” She exclaims in a high-pitched voice.  

“Then who the fuck are you talking about, Alice?” 

“The new guy! Jasper!” 

“You know what? Start from the beginning. You left the car to go torture poor Tyler and then you show up late in class looking like someone just trashed a pair of Christian Loboutins in front of you.”

For a moment she pauses impressed, “Nice fashion input, cousin.”

“Thanks, I try. Now, what’s the story?”

We are outside and she sits down on a nearby bench. 

“I was going to Tyler’s locker because I wanted to make him squirm, right? But as I was walking down the hall I saw a guy talking to Jessica; and Bella… he was hot. Like sinfully hot. So I walked up to him instead and easily broke off their conversation - I mean who wants to smooth talk dumb-as-a-ass Jessica Stanley when they have me?” 


And she raises her eyebrows for emphasis before continuing.

“Anyway, that’s beside the point. We started talking and flirting, 'k? And I might have made some stupid comment on his clothes and everything was going swell until he unashamedly orders me to go into his car for a quick fuck!” 

“What?!”

“Exactly what you heard.”

“What did you do?”

“Well I… I… I ran-out-of-words-and-just-walked-away-without-looking-back!” 


She says in a rush, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation.

Now this was something that never happened to Alice Higginbotham: running out of words. 


Ever. 


For a second I’m too perplexed to react when suddenly I feel myself shake with laughter.

“Are you laughing at me, Bella Swan?” 

“I’m sorry Alice; I really am, but seriously? You ran out of words? That’s just fucking epic!”

Unfortunately my sense of humour is lost on Alice. 


“You should be supporting me, bitch! Not laughing at my face!” 

“You’re right, but come on… you have to see the irony!” 

She flips me off but a tiny little smile curls up the corner of her mouth. 


I sit beside her. 

“I don’t need to tell you that he is an asshole, do I? You know it, I know it and even he probably knows it! So just forget about it. You’re Alice Higginbotham and Alice Higginbotham and never loses her cool.”

“I don’t, you’re right.” She pauses before continuing. “And that’s why I’ve decided that I’m going to lose my virginity with him.”

 

I stare dumbly at her for a few seconds and then it hits me. 


I’ve lost my best friend to some Alien abduction, it’s the only explanation. 


Either that or she had some stupidity spell that ricocheted. 


Or maybe she went into shock, traumatized by having a guy trying to boss her around.

“Bella… you ok?” Her voice brings me back from my shock.

“What did you just say?”  

“I asked you if you were ok.” 

“Not that Alice! What the hell did you say before that?”

“I said that I was going to have sex with Jasper.”  

“What the fuck?! I hope you’re kidding because you’re making no freaking sense!”

Alice shakes her head smiling and I can see in her eyes that she is dead serious about this. 


“What the… Why? You just met him and he’s obviously a mindless motherfucker!” 

“Bella, this guy just gave me what I was looking for… a challenge. I want him to beg me for sex, and mark my word, he will. Can’t you see? So far I’ve never had to truly seduce any of them; they simply fell at my feet as soon as I made myself interested!”

I pause for a second absorbing her words. 


“Let me get this straight; you want the biggest asshole that you’ve ever met to be the first guy you have sex with just so you can make a point? Is that it?...”

“Yes and no.”

My frustration takes the best of me and I groan as I take out my Lucky Strikes. 


“Yes, as in you are right about me wanting to make him my bitch. And no, because that isn’t the only reason…”  

“What’s the other reason, then?” I ask after lighting up my cigarette.

“He has… something. I can’t put my finger on it.” 


She looks away into the woods in front of us. “When I said before that I just decided to walk up to him when I saw him, that’s not exactly the truth and I can’t explain it. I just kind of gravitated to him.”

I look at her puzzled expression and take a long drag, thinking about what she’s implying. 


“You think there’s magic there?”

“Maybe but I can’t really say because it’s not like I had lost free will or anything. It was more like a pull that I couldn’t resist.“

The whole thing just seems too fucking complex for this early in the day, and honestly today I just don’t have the tolerance to dwell on enigmas so I finish up my cigarette and stand. 


“Whatever rocks your boat, Ali.” I say with a sigh. “I gotta run to Biology.”

 

She shakes her thoughts away. “Meet you at lunch?”

“Yep, see you later.”


I walk into the building and straight to the classroom, Alice’s words still making no sense. 

I make a beeline to my desk and settle my stuff down. Only a few fucking seconds later, Mike Newton is already braced on my desk. 

“Hey there, beautiful.”

I roll my eyes at him not even bothering with replying, but the clearly boy can’t take a hint. 


“So, you know that Riot is now having Open Mic nights? Maybe we could go there one of these days”. 

The guy has a thing for me and although I usually can easily ignore him, today he’s getting on my fucking nerves and I’m starting to feel uneasy. I keep fixing my notes and pen for the class while he talks, hoping he will get the message and just go away. 


I’m on the edge and like a whispering that gets louder and louder by the second and starts swallowing all the noises around me, I run out of patience and turn my head to tell him to shut it when my eyes are captivated by green irises, staring right back at me from across the classroom. 

Everything comes to a halt and the chattering of the people around me disappears.

Mike’s voice is drowned.

And something deep inside of me stirs.

Fucking A.